Today I am Thankful, Oops, not Patient...

I was drafting a follow up to my last post. And, I will follow up on it. But, I need to take a break from the analytical and controversial. Yes, there's are about seven enormous white elephants in the country, but sometimes a part of being human is to ignore the Icks and enjoy life. We are the only earthly creatures that experience true happiness, especially happiness that can be separated from our surroundings. So, let's put that into practice.

God is good. He has given us so many things to enjoy and to love.
Gay Issues, Arab Craziness in the Middle East, ObamaCare, Birth Control, Elections, Money, Pain and Pestilence all aside, life, love and God will still continue. In fact, life, love and God will continue even if all those things turn out for the worst. So, let's take a moment and be thankful together for the gifts of heaven, as imperfect as they all are.

Here is my list of 10 things for which I thank my Lord. I'll add here that I am in a completely wretched mood. Being decidedly optimistic is taking so much energy. I would very much like to whine and complain all over your computer screen, but here goes...

 DEAR LORD, I AM THANKFUL FOR...

1. ONE

Love-- I have a husband. I am blissfully in love with the man of my dreams. He is soooooooo patient with me and balances me out in numerous ways. He is pursuing a place in Academia Land. I cannot wait until he's shining with the rest of the stars, like Scott Hahn and von Balthasar. Yes, I believe in him that much.

2. TWO

Babies -- I also have two beautiful daughters: One that fits anyone's description of the 'perfect child' (Cecilia) and one that is less 'perfect,' but almost more lovable (Lucy). You'd have to meet them to understand what I'm talking about. I am also thankful that they are finally beginning to interact without fireworks...

3. THREE 

Sunshine -- It's practically Fall where I am. So, I'd better take a moment and enjoy the sun. It is warm and bright and I may not see much of it this winter.

4. FOUR

Washclothes and Diapers -- I would be a wreck without them, for reasons that include many of the vilest substances, like melted crayon and poop. (Who knew that crayons melt?)

Cecilia in need of a washcloth

5.  FIVE

Cellphone -- The confounded thing has stopped believing in its power cord. AHEM. I am thankful for my cellphone because it allows me to contact friends and family when I am about to have a mental breakdown (provided that the phone decides to function). I am also thankful when it functions.

6.SIX

Bagels and Yogurt -- Because 'Just Eat This' would not be possible without them.

7. SEVEN

Pillows -- Because where else would a potty training child decide to suddenly lose it, thrice?

Lucy is not potty-training, but this was the best picture I had of a babe with pillows.

8. EIGHT

Leggings -- They are like sunshine that you can wear on your legs.

9. NINE

Music -- It blocks out the noise and keeps me potentially focused on what I should be doing...unless it's coming from a plastic lion that has way, way too much battery power.

10. TEN

I am thankful that I made it to ten. This project and my resolve have been slowly breaking down, but that's ok. You'll understand. I almost forgot #10... I thank God that I can still say this prayer and that He still listens even when the imperfection is as bad as this, that He still loves me when I get uglier than this.


What do you thank God for today?

Is he right?

“If someone accuses you, ask yourself first: Is he right? If he's right, go and apologize to him. If he's not right, then take that insult that you have received in both hands. Don't let it go but seize that opportunity and give it to Jesus as a sacrifice. Be glad that you have something valuable to give to Him.” 

-- Blessed Theresa of Calcutta

That is some of the best advice I've heard.  It's applicable to thousands of circumstances in my own life.  However, many Catholics and countless internet-theologians skip over Step 1: Ask yourself if he's right.  Many Catholics have developed martyr complexes. They blow trumpets to call attention to our brothers who are about to 'persecute' us.  Then, they whine and moan about their 'wounds'.  Not that the pain is fake, but the pain, in itself, is not the vocation of a Christian.

Of course Christ did not take the time to wonder if his persecutors were right. He was perfect, so He is not the best example of self-examination. But, He is the prime example of humility -- the virtue whereby one considers himself as he is, not less, not more. Together, we are the Body of Christ. But, even as the Body of Christ, we are not perfect.  I think we all need to remember that we are fallible creatures and ask ourselves: Is he right?

I do believe the question goes further in many cases.  Sometimes we need to stop and remember that people do not speak complete lies when it comes to their beliefs. It's not like they're trying to skip taking the garbage out. Convictions are held because each person sees the truth in that particular way. Another question is "How is this dude right?" Because, he's usually right about something. And, "Why does he believe that?"  Finally, there's a more important question even than those, in humility, "How am I wrong?"

Peter Kreeft told a story once that I cannot quote exactly, but it went something like this:  I was teaching an Ethics class in which there was a group of pro-choice university students. I asked them why they believed abortion was moral or, at least, permissible. After they stated their reasons, I commented that each of their reasons can be used to make the case for infanticide, or the killing of children. I asked them to take as much time as they needed to make a case for abortion that did not also condone infanticide. At the end of the semester, I approached them, as they had not yet answered me. They looked at each other and finally one said, "Professor, we're actually now in favor of infanticide."

Professor Kreeft was making the point that arguments, logic, and the mind do not matter as much as the heart in some cases. Avid warriors for 'women's rights' would rather out-rightly support infanticide than deny any right to a woman. That is their perspective and how they see it. We Christians need to understand that first, before we do anything else.

In a world where everyone stands on a soap box and especially during dum dum dummmmm... Election Year, many people are losing the humility to realize that we are all flawed. Only by taking a Franciscan approach, by understanding our brothers and sisters, can we truly evangelize... Because learning is about asking the right questions, not about parroting information.  And, teaching is about raising the right questions, not about fighting, outwitting, or manipulating our students. We cannot simply berate our brothers because they believe differently. We have to sit down and find where they are right.  Give them credit for that, and offer the rest to Christ. I mean, hey, you could be wrong too.

I'll going to go into detail on a juicy topic in another post. In the meantime, enjoy babes...    

I call this series "The Journey to the Perfect Picture"

 Take 1

 Take 2

 Take 3

 Take 4

 Take 5

 Take 6

 Take 7

 Take 8

            Finally!!

When life can't get any better...

I submit that there are times in life at which life cannot get any better. I also believe that there was one point in the week that was meant to be better than every other. The point at which Christ comes down to us in the Mystery of Holy Communion during the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.

Ok. Granted. But, now there is a more daunting subject that I wish to address: Music; more specifically music in Church. This is an area that many people feel very strongly about and because of that, my goal is merely to present some thoughts for reflection. There are many articles and books rendered on this subject, so I myself cannot pretend to stand in the place of all. But, if there is more interest, I will treat this subject in more detail.
Music in the setting of the Liturgy is meant to accompany the highest form of worship. For centuries, 'secular' song and sacred music have been, at least officially, separate. Secular and Sacred were meant to be separate in style and form. You don't see a sonata-form Gloria or anything like that. Today, though, there is so much secular music in the Church.

What does the Church say on the matter? The church has given Gregorian chant pride of place in her sacred liturgies. The sound of the schola is preferred even to the organ. In the realm of instruments, the organ is given pride of place, particularly because it mimics most closely the sound of the human voice and because it is the best instrument for accompanying the voice.
The Church as a whole does not condemn any music. It only gives the most general guidelines, but those guidelines outline a clear bias toward Gregorian Chant, sacred polyphony, and organ music, wherever possible.

Random Photo of My Babes

Now, on to my own thoughts.  My own opinion of the general guidelines is that they are pastorally lenient. Just as the Church removed the obligation to wear a chapel veil (in the '80s, by the way, not in Vatican II) because no one was wearing it anyways. I believe that, to not scandalize the brethren, the Church has refrained from being too harsh in the realm of music. After all, for many people, secular styles are uplifting and an integral part of their worship.  Secular music is not evil by any means, but I do not believe it is best suited for the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass.  Most secular music is very simple, repetitive, melodic, and familiar, making it easy for the congregation. That is the best thing about it. However, there is more to the Mass than congregational participation. There's timelessness and transcendence. Secular styles are dated and worldly. On the flip side, sacred music of the caliber of Palestrina is not generally congregational song, and traditional hymns are not very uplifting.

This is the conundrum that I find with 'worship music,' secular and traditional. There is a tension on both sides that has yet to be resolved. Polyphony, chant, and organ are most notably sacred, but on the other hand, they don't relate to many individuals and they are even dated in some circles. Contemporary and secular styles appeal most to the modern man and are the easiest means for him to unite with the angels. Yet, they do not transcend the world or everyday life. They are not meant exclusively for the liturgy. The modern Church music doesn't lend itself to an incredible surge in congregational participation either. Many people still don't sing in Church. Somehow, attitudes, music, and education all need to change for music to glow again in liturgy. As is, it does not glow. It doesn't lend itself to charity either because when these two sides of the music coin meet... they get like this:

All this talk about the objective goodness of polyphony breaks down when Mr. Joe Average can't lift his heart in song. True, he can try harder than folk music. Maybe he should. But, he doesn't. The music of the Church becomes the music of the 10-voice-choir, of Joe Gifted, not of Joe Average. Many people don't know how to relate to 'that stuff' anymore. Plus, there's the argument that the choir is too busy worried about notes to think about God. There are many roots to this problem, but the fact is that the liturgy is meant to be the earthly choirs uniting with the heavenly choirs, giving eternal praise to the Almighty. All of us on earth constitute the earthly choir in this image. I don't think this is just an image either. We're all meant to sing, just like we're all meant to pray. If the secular styles and instruments are the only way a stubborn Joe Average will sing, who am I, stubborn and snobby as I am, to berate him for his staunch position with a guitar?

Not that anything goes in Church with regard to secular styles or music in general. But, we do need to talk about this and somehow bring song back into the life of the people of God.

A Clean House: My Tale

I must brag about FlyLady.

First off, I have a confession to make. I am a slob. Well, a recovering slob.
I've been married for three solid years now. I'm quite happy with the new life my husband and I have forged together. But, there is something I've been fighting very hard for very long: Housewivery. *shudder*

That particular article helped put things in perspective, but this battle has been long and hard. I have come to a few conclusions:
1) A clean house is the product of organization AND routines, shelves and schedules.
2) If you say you'll do it later, you're a slob.
3) My husband, and maybe husbands in general, don't help, especially when they're constantly being moaned at.

I've spent the better part of the last three years trying to convince myself of some strange version of the modern housewife. My husband and I agreed that we would work together, cooperating to ensure love and peace in our home. Nice, except that I wanted a household that ran like clockwork. I didn't communicate the household needs or my own wishes. I expected my husband to just pick up on it and do it. Needless to say, things do not work this way. At. All...

Toys were everywhere. The beef that the baby threw on the floor a month ago (yeah, that...) was still on the floor. Trash piled in corners. Tea bags sat in the middle of the kitchen table for weeks... You get the idea... And, it wasn't like I was polishing my nails all day. I was exhausted! I was utterly pooped by the end of each day and I had nothing to show for it. This was how I lived for two years.

It was around this time that I did a random search on the internet for 'how to clean your house.'  I found FlyLady. I thought it was hippy and stupid. The website is a little retro and cumbersome for starters. But, I decided to clean my sink and do everything necessary to keep it shining. For some reason, that was enough of a self-esteem boost to convince me to keep going.

This is a Baby.

With FlyLady's help, I realized that all the reorganizing that I did -- all day long -- was useless, unless I established routines to maintain that organization. I'm still learning and I have a ways to go before I reach perfection. But, my sink is shiney. My bathroom is clean. My floor is clear. My mantel is dusted. My house is swept. And, I've decided that perfection is overrated. I do what I can in the time that I have. Maintenance and neatness is the key. I save perfectionism for my sink.

FlyLady also addresses attitudes: the attitude that housework is a chore, that you shouldn't stop until it's perfect, and that the household is more important than I am. All those are part of the American Housewife Myth. In reality, housework is you blessing your family, gracing them with a welcoming home. Perfectionism is your worst enemy in general upkeep. How many times have I set out to clean the bedroom and gotten stuck in one spot for 3 hours? (At least 4 dozen.) During those 3 hours, I cannot love my family because I'm too busy wrecking the closet to make dinner. (Plus, after wrecking the closet and burning dinner, I'm in a wretched mood.) Usually after a bout like this, I don't want to do any chores until I can't see the floor anymore. My perfectionism lent itself to procrastination and slob-hood.

The greatest lesson I've learned in all of this is that I am important. I am the driving force behind this household. I love my family. But, my love for them doesn't mean that I have to completely neglect my own upkeep, my personal interests, or my free time. I don't need to martyr myself for my family. It doesn't do either of us any good. It left me bitter for giving too much and left them starving for the one thing I wasn't giving: Happiness.

What's more, once I finally included the whole house in my routine schedule, the useless husband has been inspired to cook, sweep, dust, and tidy the house by my side. It turns out that neither of us knew the first thing about housekeeping and we didn't know how to start. Thanks to FlyLady, we're starting. And, we will never finish, because who would want to cease blessing her home?

So, if you're swimming in CHAOS (Can't Have Anybody Over Syndrome) or if you're looking to start anew, FlyLady.

ENDNOTE: I'm going to start posting weekly pictures of my girls   :D

Post Genesis

What happens after the beginning?
 
Well, after my first post, I digressed into a veritable hole of ... things. In fact, I think I was slipping into the hole when I started this blog. I've been fighting being a housewife. Fighting it with everything I could. I haven't stopped fighting it, but I'm beginning (beginning) to get comfortable in my own shoes. I've realized that this cannot be a table of discussion, partly because it's full of Cherrios, spilt milk, and way too much noise to hold a viable conversation. This is my table and I should be proud of it dag nabitol.

So, even though lofty conversation is welcome, it is no longer promised or even expected. For that, I highly suggest my husband's blog. As for this blog, this is the family table. I will talk about my adventures, being a mom, my disgust with what Lucy just stuffed in her nose, and my thrill with what Cecilia just drew. At the end of the day, I'm a mommy. I can definitely talk about other things and I have my own perspective on the world. We'll see if that comes out. Welcome to my dinner table!

The Genesis

I do not see myself as the type of person who would start a blog.  I don't publish my life on the internet and I'm not about to spam people's lives with details about my own. My audience can call me on this if that ever occurs.

I felt compelled to start a blog for a few reasons. One is my state in life.  I swore by my right foot (George) that I would do my best not to work after God blessed me with my first child.  He saw fit that ten months after the Marriage Rite was the Baptismal Rite.  At the time, it seemed so ideal.  I quit my insanely demanding job and started my new life solely as Wife-Mother. I am the happiest I could ever be, with one thing wanting... 

I attended a Liberal Arts University. There I was taught to know truth. I grew accustomed to seeking it, encountering it, and integrating it in my day to day life -- truth, with Christ at the core.  The thrill of discovery and of falling deeper and deeper into the mysteries of God, man, and music have been key points of my existence for many years. They have kept me in touch with my Creator and thus with the meaning of my life.  They have helped me understand the world around me and even some of the people too. So, as a full-time wife and mother, I have to write.  Baby is almost 6 months old and I do believe my brain will turn to a rather inconsistent mush without excercise. This blog is my exercise in thought as well as my communication with the rest of the table.

And this leads to my second reason for the blog. I miss the collage meals -- not the food. We used to sit down 6-16 to a table and discuss anything everything. The arguments and revelations that resulted were awe-inspiring (in some cases), but always entertaining in the very least. I hope to bring questions (and answers) to the table and to spark the Ave table discussions once again. If no one else joins in, I'm sure my husband will.

Finally, I must give credit to my dear mother. I've been feeling this way for some time. She told me today, "Write!" And, well, here I am. I do hope I do not bore.

~ Musing Mi